Disclaimer: I am no relationship expert. This is solely based on my experience. Also, I have just started writing so kindly excuse the grammar ☺
He was the only male figure in my life, besides my dad. The only male I had ever trusted other than my dad. I do have cousins but none are really close to me. I had never dated anyone. I have never had any boyfriend because I thought these feelings would distract me from my track. I had an invisible wall built around me and everyone knew that they should not cross it. I was happy in my own world.
*CUT TO FOUR YEARS AGO*
One fine day, I met him. Despite trying so hard to maintain distance and mind my own business, I would get pulled towards him. Just how magnet pulls iron! And that butterflies-in-tummy- kinda feeling, the skipping of heartbeat. Phew! Oh good lord! Do you know this feeling? Can you relate to what I am trying to say? Even bodi ko tarkari tastes yum when you are head over heels in love. Everything felt so beautiful back then. I used to forget all the bad memories from the past when I was with him. I was happy as the feeling was so new to me.
*CUT TO FEW YEARS LATER*
The three-year-long “relationship” ended. We parted ways. I was standing at the crossroad for five fucking months hoping for things to get sorted and him to return. While typing this I remembered how I used to cry for days missing him. ‘effin hell.
Then, I finally realised I was no longer a part of his life (and vice versa). I finally accepted the fact, collect the shattered pieces and moved on. It took me one year to get over him. ONE. ‘EFFIN. YEAR.
Oh god, I remember (while typing this) how I used to listen to ‘devdas-level’ sad songs. I laugh about it now but, the feeling was suffocating back then.
Chillax guys. That was just a phase in my life ☺☻
While going through all these, I learned five important lessons. I want to share it with you. The points can be interrelated though.
Let’s start from the basic:
- Communication is the key. Relationships flourish through communication. Most of the time we assume our partner knows everything about the relationship and the feeling. But honey, you are wrong! He is no ‘antaryami’ to read your mind. So, stop assuming everything like an Economics student, and have a proper conversation. Just speak your mind. Else you will be keeping your partner in the loop. Having a conversation is important, but what is also equally important is listening.
Dear men, why are you ignorant about text messages?? Oh gosh! That’s so annoying.
Do develop the habit of replying to text messages. And, if you have something important to tell to your partner or have any doubt, talk to him/her in person.
- Transparency helps sustain your relationship in the long-run. It feels so annoying when you do not know what the other person actually feels/thinks about you. This might make you vulnerable but, LACK OF TRANSPARENCY makes us insecure and we end up being indecisive about the relationship. So, just tell the other person what you think, how you feel, and stuff like that.
- Where do you stand in his life? This is one of the most important questions you need to ask yourself. Do you feel prioritised in the relationship? When the bond starts growing gradually, it is really important to know where you stand in his life. Guys, stop giving mixed signals. Either you are into him/her or you are not.
- You are no longer a secret. When someone truly loves you, he is not hesitant about mentioning you to (at least) one of his closest persons. That person can be sibling, cousin, best friend, or even mother/father. But, he does tell about you to one of his closest persons.
Do not lose faith in love. Sometimes it is necessary to hit the rock bottom to start anew. But, no matter what do not lost your faith in love. Better days are ahead.